Prissy Is the New Evil

Refreshingly Evil

Although music, parties, interesting links, etc. will show up, The management is proud to introduce a Halloween-week special focus on scary stuff. Evil. Horror movies. Ashlee Simpson. Exploding heads. The upcoming election. Jack-o'-lanterns. You get the point.

I spent most of yesterday on the couch, nursing a severe hangover and watching AMC's presentation of The Omen Trilogy. I really paid attention to Damien: Omen II, which I hadn't seen since I was a kid, and Omen III: The Final Conflict which, amazingly, I had never seen before. Diagnosis: totally awesome and totally not scary. Sam Neill plays the grown-up antichrist as a slimy, whiny über-priss. And he kills people in the most retarded ways imaginable. One guy is killed by a group of English hunting dogs! Seriously... this huge group of really cute beagles is chasing this guy and we're supposed to be frightened? It's like attacking someone with a group hug or a cozy blanket. Three movies in, and the most forbidding weapon in the antichrist's arsenal is his poutiness. "I'm very peeved with you, and I shall now attack you with a scone. It's a very scary scone, I assure you. Absolutely chock full of delicious evil."

So the point is that it's just so great to sit around on autumn days and watch horror movies (and drink beer and smoke pot and eat candy corn). Tonight AMC does the Amityville Horror Trilogy. I recommend avoiding that if at all possible. Although it is fun to watch James "Mr. Babs Streisand" Brolin go all I'm-fucking-crazy-and-so-is-my-beard in the first film.

Just to keep you in the mood, here's a picture of Angela from Sleepaway Camp. (Obvs, the heart frame was not in the film.) This is the best shot in the film... it's at the very end when she freaks out and reveals that in addition to a big butcher knife, "she" has a big dick.

Very weird and very disturbing when it's 3:00 a.m. and you're full of drugs. That is an apt description of my condition the first time I saw this. Me and Sleuther were simultaneously laughing our asses off and pooing in our pants from being afraid.

As previously reported, the Dawn of the Dead remake comes out tomorrow. Also worth noting, the anabolic steroid super edition of Pavement's Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain comes out tomorrow, too. Most important, tomorrow marks the release of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Now all I need is some money.

Tomorrow: more on the horror tip, a report on the first Ebony and Ivory DJ CD, a report on Ebony and Ivory changing their name to Len & Lindstrom, and much, much more.